My journey is far from over, but as I put the chapters of St. As more survivors speak up, institutions everywhere are being forced to respond. A teenage survivor of sexual assault shouldn't be responsible for holding a 162-year old institution accountable for its actions, or lack thereof. The power in this moment is the empowerment happening all around us. Even today the words and actions of the school are painful energy and resources that could be invested in student safety and well-being are instead diverted toward preserving their reputation.Ī student slipping on an icy sidewalk is an "unfortunate event," Mr. Paul's go to great lengths, and great depths, to protect their brand. There have been many surprises throughout my journey, not the least of which is the fact that schools such as St. Paul's move made me feel like I had no choice. I had been considering going public with my story to help other survivors, but I still had deep reservations. Paul's responded by threatening to expose my identity. I wanted to hold the school accountable and prevent other kids from getting hurt, so my family and I filed a lawsuit. I stopped calling myself a victim and began calling myself a survivor. My shame morphed into anger, my fear into action.
The letters from these strangers, and the support and love from my sisters, my parents, my extended family, and my therapist, helped reaffirm the truth I always knew: It was NOT my fault. I received a couple of dozen messages of support from complete strangers, people who not only believed me, but believed in me too. īut there were other people who gave me the strength to get through it all. It was devastating and infuriating to be re-victimized by Owen's defense attorney who twisted my words and interrogated me as if I had committed the crime.
#CHESSY PROUT BOOK TRIAL#
I wanted to heal from the attack and the betrayal but the trial led to new wounds and raw feelings. I would sit in her office and genuinely ask: What did I do to deserve being assaulted?Īll I wanted was for Owen to take responsibility for the assault, and to prevent him from violating more girls. Several days after my assault, I headed to the hospital for a rape kit examination and talked to a police detective. Buzz had an obligation to contact police due to mandatory reporting laws. We couldn't all be upset at once, so I felt I had to balance out the emotions and stay as strong as I could be.Īs I struggled to make sense of that night, I confided in my sister, my mom, and my school counselor, Buzz. I tried to ease their minds by pretending everything was fine, that it was no big deal. Their fear and anxiety made me shut down emotionally. My friends looked worried as I explained the facts of what happened later that night and raised concerns about whether I could be pregnant or have a sexually transmitted disease. I had no idea at the time that what happened was a crime. At first I thought I was being too sensitive, too much of a baby for being so distraught. Paul's School wondering what the hell just happened. I clawed tears off my face as I trudged across campus at St. In May 2014, as a 15-year-old high school freshman, I was sexually assaulted in a locked mechanical room by Owen Labrie, a popular senior who was headed to Harvard in the fall.
0 kommentar(er)
